Dating Follies
By Fay A.
Constant Questions and Difficult Decisions
Some say that modern-day man has moved into a realm of never-ending choices. There was a time when choices were for the privileged people only; everyone else merely did what was necessary to survive.
Now it seems that everywhere you look, you are forced to make some sort of decision. After years of living, the act of ‘picking and choosing’ should have become easy for us. After all, we’ve been doing it since we were children: chocolate or vanilla, merry-go-round or monkey bars, Superman or Batman.
The truth of the matter is that, as we age, the act of making decisions actually gets more and more difficult. As we grow into adults, the harsh reality of decision-making begins to become clearer to us. When we do finally decide and pick the one option from the many, what we are really doing is taking all of the other options off the table. In the harsh realistic light of day we must ask ourselves: Are we indecisive or just unable to commit to any one thing?
People agonize over even the smallest of decisions. What do I want for dinner? Do I want beer or liquor tonight? Am I in the mood for a drama or a comedy? Blue shirt or green shirt?
As grown-ups these seemingly unimportant decisions are often rolling around in our brains directly adjacent to some of the gargantuan life-changing ones. Am I content in my work, or should I take the leap and dream of something bigger? Have I found my soul mate, or could there be someone better out there? Could I live more, see more, be more, love more, more, more, more…?
What does it mean when having to decide is pure agony? Even if you are fortunate enough to be faced with only two options in front of you, as opposed to six or eight, why is the deciding so difficult? And an even better question: if it is this hard to decide, is either option the right one?
Is it silly to hang onto the childish ideal that when the right thing comes along we will just know it? Do people really have those flashes, where everything just comes into focus and they know exactly which path to take? All of the sudden, the entirety of your indecisiveness and fear jump out of the window, revealing this flower-lined path that leads you to the future you always dreamed of. While surrounded by the pressures and hardships of the average individual’s daily life, it seems naive to believe that anything could just open up and be that simple.
So then what’s the answer; how does one go about deciding when the stakes are really high? If you are one of the prior-planning people, you may find yourself creating a pro/con list. If you are a thrill seeker, you may trust your gut and fling yourself off one side or the other of the big decision cliff. Maybe introspection gets the best of you, resulting in countless hours of deep soul-searching until one answer feels like the right one.
Or maybe the answer is that there is no answer. Maybe fate has the outcome already picked out, and all of the questioning and torturing ourselves results in nothing more than questions, torture, and a bit of a delay. Perhaps the gigantic spider-web-like maze will always end in the same place no matter which path we choose on any given day. Of course none of us want to believe this; it makes us feel small and powerless. But what if it were true? Would we sleep better at night? Would we trust our instincts more often? Would it put an end to regret? Would we worry less and enjoy more?
For now, I suppose we are all left to our own devices; be it flipping coins, consulting the I-Ching, reading your tea leaves every morning, prayer… whatever your method may be. There will always be constant questions and difficult decisions to contend with.
The trick is to believe in the choices that you make when they come along. Remember that life is a big, long bumpy journey; if you decide to go with the polka-dots today, there is always tomorrow to put on the plaid.
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