Juicy’s Heard on Folly: May – hem
By Becky “Ju-C” Sparks
If you’re a Folly Beach local or have spent a lot of time on the island, you’ve heard some interesting things. Some make you laugh uncontrollably, others confuse you terribly and plenty make you cringe. I’ve overheard a lot of things on this island and I’d like to share some with you. With the weather heating up and the beer going down easy, the quotes keep falling like a broken pinata. Would you say we have a plethora?
May 6, 2011: “I will not have another old lady sitting in my driveway before 6 a.m. again!”
May 7, 2011: “If you ever need anything, don’t ask me. I don’t have sh**.”
May 7, 2011: “Tell them to hire me. I don’t do drugs and I’m not in jail at the moment.”
May 7, 2011: “My daughter will sew you up in a minute.”
May 8, 2011: “I was as messed up as Hogan’s Goat!”
May 8, 2011: “Backdoor babies, they are the best.”
May 14, 2011: “See, everyone likes your basket.”
May 19, 2011: “I gotta’ go home and blow up my girlfriend. Her name is Samoa.”
May 19, 2011: “One pair of panties, two panty liners, four days usage.”
May 19, 2011: “One day this week, I gotta’ take a shower.”
May 20, 2011: “Ugh, Dave Matthews makes me feel sterile.”
May 21, 2011: “Did you put a drink in my roofie?”
May 21, 2011: “If you’re sleeping in the bathtub, I’m breaking up with you.”
May 25, 2011: “I’m not gay. My junk was in your mouth!”
May 25, 2011: Person 1: “Are you straight now?”
Person 2: “No, mom. I was just drunk and some girl put her *#* in my mouth.”
May 25, 2011: “Snap into a steering column.”
May 28, 2011: “In my next life, I want to come back as a prophylactic. At least I’d be doing some good.”
May 28, 2011: “I’m sick of getting raped by rainbows!”
May 30, 2011: “I want my foreskin back!!!”
If you would like to contact Juicy or tell her something you’ve heard,
email her at: juicyhearddat@gmail.com. Or you can join the group “Heard on Folly” on
Facebook.
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