Energy Vampires
Dating Follies
By Fay A.
At work a few weeks ago, I couldn’t help but chuckle at an ever-popular debate transpiring on the other side of my bar. A beautiful new girl had joined a group of friends that had been hanging out enjoying a few Sunday morning libations. After introductions, someone in the group (who to protect their anonymity will remain nameless — let’s call them Poodle) offered a compliment to the girl. This is where it all went awry.
Instead of saying a quick ‘thank you’ and allowing the conversation to move on, the lovely new stranger began to blush, disagree, and coyly wrap herself in attention from, now not just one member of the group, but all of them. This in turn forced the debate to drag on… and on. Now it is great to be demure and humble, but it is another thing entirely to be an attention junkie and an energy vampire; thus we are going to spend this week’s column back in “How to Take a Compliment: 101.”
Everyone has something about themselves that stands out to the point that others take notice. An infectious laugh, a witty sense of humor, a physical attribute of some sort; maybe you are a great kisser, an exceptional artist, or a groovy dancer. Wherever your talents, charms, or beauties may lie, when you are given a compliment concerning one of them, be polite and gracious and then allow life to move on.
If you have some trait that is noticeably exquisite enough for a stranger to come out and comment on it to you, chances are that you have heard this compliment before. You are already aware of the fact that you have amazing eyes, beautiful teeth, luscious lips, gorgeous hair, or radiant alabaster skin… so what to do now? Well, first and foremost, you sincerely thank Mom and/or Dad for the super charged DNA and then you get over yourself. Yes, it is great that whatever it is about you is so great — hooray! Yet on the flip side, we all know those people who travel through life searching for validation and praise, and we have all been annoyed by them.
Almost everyone has been trapped in a situation with one of those people that I lovingly refer to as “energy vampires.” They are rather easy to spot and are often talking (mostly about themselves). When they are not, they’re generally baiting you into some sort of story or conversation that will inevitably end up rotating around them. They thrive on people validating who they are, their career choices, their relationship choices, and even the outfit they chose to wear today. Whatever it may be, they want to know that the path they have chosen is well thought of by those around them.
What does this have to do with dating you ask? Well, maybe nothing, or maybe everything. I’ve said it many times before: You must grow into a self-sustaining individual before you couple yourself off. It must be exhausting to date someone who needs to be told how great they are all the time, and even more so when they argue with you about it.
The moral of the story is this: If you are beautiful, be beautiful. If you are funny, be funny. If someone notices, be grateful without letting it go to your head. And to my precious friend Poodle, thank you for turning what could have been 20 minutes of absolute annoyance into a full half-hour of pure comedic gold.
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