Three hotdog connoisseurs set out to try every glizzy on Folly Beach over the course of one afternoon
by Lorne Chambers | Editor
The Tour de France is officially underway. For 21 days, 22 teams made up of eight riders each will travel 2,235 miles across two countries, going over the Italian and French Alps, and the Massif Central and Pyrenees mountain ranges. In the cycling world, it’s the ultimate test of endurance and strength. Another amazing feat of physical prowess also happens this month on Coney Island when The Nathan’s Famous International Hot Dog Eating Contest takes place on Wednesday, July 4. Of course, your uncle will likely be trying to clock his own P.R. (personal record) at the backyard cookout as he guzzles as many glizzies and Natural Lights as he can before he passes out or has to be rushed to the ER.
In honor of these magnificent feats of strength and glorious displays of American gluttony, I set out to tackle an admittedly far-less arduous (but no-less daunting) challenge. I’ve dubbed it the Folly Tour de Franks. My goal was simple: Traverse the island—not by bike, but on a golf cart—and consume every hot diggity dog Folly Beach restaurants had to offer.
Much like the riders in the Tour de France, I needed to enlist some teammates for this Herculean task. So, my first call was to my good friend Katie Wells. She’s a former Folly Current contributor and a previous winner of the Taste of Folly Chili Cook-off. I’ve probably eaten more hotdogs with Katie than with anyone else on the planet, besides maybe my dad. She’s the only one who will split a corndog basket with me at Gene’s Haufbrau without hesitation. Corndogs are what Katie calls “Hotdog-adjacent” (HDA), and for the sake of this challenge, we did not tackle HDAs.
Katie is truly the biggest hotdog enthusiast I know, and she has strong opinions on just about anything. So, her expertise and evaluation skills would be invaluable in grading these glizzies. The only problem is she’s also a vice president at a global corporation, so I knew her availability could be questionable with precious time to cross the finish line before the print deadline of the July issue. But always a gamer, Katie’s response was quick and definitive: “Heck yeah!” Followed up by a “Wow. I’m pretty stoked!” text.
My next call was to my good friend Lindsey Pew. She and I have shared a variety of hotdog and HDA foods from different parts of the world, including a bratwurst in Münich during Oktoberfest. We also tried the very unique and strange “Puka Dog” in Hawaii at the very place Anthony Bourdain patronized during an episode of No Reservations. Lindsey was not a fan of that one, but she did get engaged on that trip, so Hawaii wasn’t a total loss. A year later, we shared some suspicious sausages in Thailand when she crashed our honeymoon (my wife isn’t “down with the dog,” so I have to look outside of my marriage for a Frankfurter friend.)
I knew Lindsey, who also once won the Taste of Folly Chili Cook-off, would be totally down for downing some dogs. But there was only one major obstacle — she moved from Charleston and now lives in Hawaii. Believe it or not, The Folly Current did not have enough money in it’s discretionary fund to fly her in for this event. I guess being a monthly newspaper publisher in the 21st century doesn’t come with all the glamour and riches it used to. I bet William Randolph Hearst could have eaten a hotdog on top of the Eiffel Tower with the Prince of Monaco if he so desired. Actually, I don’t know if that’s true. I’m not even sure Mr. Hearst was a connoisseur of encased meats, but I do know he had an affinity for wiener dogs. He bred Dachshunds at his estate in California.
Luckily for us, Lindsey was already planning to be back in Charleston the last week of June. The stars were aligning. She accepted my challenge, and the Folly Tour de Franks team was set! We even brought in Lindsey’s former neighbor Erin Abagnale as a alternate, in case someone had to tap out before crossing the finish line at Bert’s Market.
We assembled on Center Street around noon on Monday, June 24, loaded into the golf cart, and headed out for the afternoon.
On the way, we talked about our favorite hotdogs. For me it was either eating a true Chicago Dog at Wrigley Field or my first foot-long hot dog on the Boardwalk in Myrtle Beach at the same spot my dad would eat them when he was stationed there in the Air Force decades earlier.
Katie said that all of her best hotdog memories were on Folly, whether it was grilling them out on her screened porch on warm summer nights at her old house across from Low Life (before Low Life was there) or late-nights at Bert’s Market. We even talked about the short-lived hot dog cart that used to be set up outside the old Folly Brew Pub (now Jack of Cups) on the weekend. “Every time I think about hot dogs, I think of Folly,” she said.
For Lindsey, her favorite hot dog memory is from the small hotdog stand near her home in Kailua, Hawaii that she and her husband sometimes hit up after a night at their favorite watering hole.
“When you get it, it’s like striking gold. Garlic sauce, bacon, jalapeños. And on the walk home, it steams in the foil on the way,” she said.
After walking down Hotdog Memory Lane, we hashed out a few ground rules. Since there’s no such thing as a bad hotdog, we wouldn’t be dogging anybody’s dog. We would only highlight what we liked and what made each one unique. Since this is a very mature undertaking, we decided we would not eat off of kids’ menus. Apologies to Loggerhead’s and LoLo’s. Also, as we mentioned before, no HDAs, so corndogs were off the table. Apologies to Pier 101 and The Washout, who both have mini-corndogs on their respective menus.
My Tour de Frank teammates began sharing their own personal preferences regarding what makes the perfect hotdog. Katie said she likes a good “snap” when biting down on a dog and steers clear of the cheap, bright pink wieners you sometimes see at the grocery store. I informed her those came from Carolina Pride, which are from my hometown of Greenwood. But I was not offended. I can still smell that factory as my school bus drove past it. Because of that alone, I also avoid the pink ones.
“It has to be a good quality hotdog, but I don’t need my cheese to be fancy,” Katie said. “And a carrot is never a hotdog!”
No offense to New York’s famed dirty water dogs, but the three of us agreed that a grilled hotdog is king. But a seared hotdog on a flattop or roller can also do the trick.
“I like to have a good char on my hotdog. Char gets me excited,” Katie confessed.
The three of us also agreed that mustard is a must, preferably good ol’ French’s yellow mustard in the squeeze bottle. Save the whole grain and Dijon for other applications. There was some debate on the merits of ketchup on hotdogs, but no one had too strong an opinion.
There was some discussion about the bun. For me, a simple, soft steamed bun holds both my hotdog and my nostalgia in a warm, soft embrace. Lindsey also prefers a softer bun, using a sophisticated scale that gauges this not by feel but by how many crumbs land on her chest when eating.
Lost Dog Café
The Lost Dog Café seemed like the best place to begin. When you have “Dog” in your name, you better have a good dog! And Lost Dog Café does have a good dog! In fact, it’s called the “Good Dog, Good Dog” and is just $7 and served with chips. You can add cheese, onions, Sauerkraut, or relish for a little more. Lost Dog was the only place where sauerkraut was an option and Lindsey and I waxed nostalgic over our German Brat experience from Oktoberfest years ago. Lost Dog was also the only place where you could opt to add their New Mexico-style green chili on top. It’s not traditional, but it’s a unique twist. The Boar’s Head all-beef hotdog had a nice snap that held up well to the chili.
“It’s a good dog by itself. Best bun to chili ratio that you could have. That’s not the chili I would expect on a dog, but I like it,” said Lindsey.
“I really like the bun here. I enjoy the softness of a buttery pillowy bun. Top-notch bun,” said Katie. “And a strong snap on the wiener.”
Rita’s Seaside Grille
Before we got too full, we decided to hit up Rita’s Seaside Grille next. We were right in assuming Rita’s “Steak Dog” was going to be the most filling of the day. It’s a quarter-pound premium Allen Brothers Prime beef hot dog on an Amoroso bun, served with seasoned fries. What else would you expect from the Hall Management Group, the same people who own Hall’s Chophouse?
“I’ve prob never eaten such a high-end dog,” said Katie. “You’re not going to be hungry after this.” As you might imagine, it was delicious and a complete meal, topped with chili and cheese, red onions on the side. This is no walking dog. But for $12 it’s a really good deal for such a quality frank.
“Smoky is the first thing you get, which is nice” said Lindsey, who also appreciated the crisp pickle spear on the side.
THE BOUNTY BAR
We were two dogs in, with four more to go and we were already starting to feel full. But we power onward up Center Street to The Bounty Bar for their “Grilled Chili Dog,” which is a Sabrett’s all-beef New York City dog, topped with chili, cheese, and onions.
“This is the best hot dog chili so far,” Katie noted, and I had to agree. It was certainly the most traditional. While Rita’s chili had beans and Lost Dog was green pork chili, The Bounty Bar was classic, tangy hot dog chili that complimented the toasty bun and gave it a real backyard cookout feel that is perfect for 4th of July, or any time really.
PLANET FOLLYWOOD
The heat of the day and our full bellies started to work in concert to slow our roll, but like true competitors, we battled on, crossing the street to Folly’s favorite dive bar, Planet Follywood. Now, I know there are dozens of lists out there about Charleston’s best burger. Smash burgers are all the rage right now. I get it. I like them just fine. But for my money, my favorite burger in town is right here at Planet Follywood. I go back and forth between the Garlic Burger and the Cowboy Burger, but both are best with an ice-cold Budweiser and the bustling sounds of summer on Center Street outside.
Because I love the burger here so much, I’ve never once ordered the Hot Dog Basket at Planet Follywood. Today would be the day. They use Nathan’s hot dogs, which are my personal favorite.
“I don’t usually like the bun this crusty and the chili is 100-percent canned. But I love the hell out of this hotdog,” said Lindsey. “This is exactly what I would expect and want at Planet Follywood.” She added that the Nathan’s dog provided the best “snap” thus far.
This is beach dive bar grub at its finest and for $10.95, you get two to an order with a large side of fries. “A great value,” said Katie. This was the last of the traditional “restaurants” on our tour. We still had two more spots to go — the Circle K and, of course, Bert’s.
CIRCLE K
I debated including Circle K on the Tour, but they are a viable option for Folly Hot Dog Hunters. Plus, for the budget-conscious, you can get any roller dog, a bag of chips, and a medium Polar Ice drink for $5. While there isn’t a lot to say about a gas station glizzy, I did appreciate the options on the toppings, like pickled jalapeños, salsa, onions, and even nacho cheese (if you dared). Plus, the “roller dogs” provided different stuffed options. I used the tongs and snagged a Jalapeño Cheddar dog. It was fine. For me this is road trip fare, not beach fare.
BERT’S MARKET
We loaded up the golf cart one last time and headed down East Hudson Avenue toward the famed Bert’s Market. On the way, Katie recalled the time she organized a scavenger hunt on her birthday a few years back. One of the things you had to cross off was eating a Bert’s hotdog. Bert’s and hotdogs have always been synonymous. Not only does the long-time Folly Beach staple host the Hot Dog Eating Contest every year at Taste of Folly, but their dogs are just .75 and always hit the spot.
“You could definitely stop here on your way to the beach for a family-friendly meal,” Lindsey said and we all nodded as we topped our last and final dog of the day. I appreciate the soft bun in the streaming tray and topping it with all my faves.
As we got paid for our dogs and walked outside to eat them, we leaned against the mural of Bert with the hook hand and listened to the music from the Songwriter’s Soapbox at Chico Feo across the street. Was it the best hot dog I had all day? I don’t know. But I think I enjoyed it the most. It was pure nostalgia in a bun, smothered with chili, onions, and mustard. Oh, and relish. Don’t forget the relish. Not just the green, pickly stuff either. But the really good stuff, relishing moments like these with friends like these. That’s the real relish.
If you think you have what it takes to complete the Folly Tour de Franks Challenge, National Hotdog Day is Wednesday, July 17. Send pics. Good Luck!
