I learn things by operating a charter business. In fact, I’ve learned a lot of geography from charter guests. Since many visitors come from Michigan, I’ve learned to navigate my way around Michigan’s “mitt.” I’ve learned that one is either from Chicago or from the rest of Illinois. I’ve learned that the town of Bristol straddles Tennessee and Virginia’s border.
Apparently, distinct tax advantages exist on both sides of the border. Also, I’ve learned that somewhere in Asheville, NC, people fall into a hole in the ground and come out in Folly Beach. A similar hole exists in Folly, exiting in Asheville. Despite the geographic differences, all these guests share a common element: They’re human.
Summer brings families, usually on an annual weeklong beach vacation. Often, the entire extended group comes out on a Salt Marsh Adventure. After entertaining thousands aboard the Tideline and the Pluffmudder, here are a few common points I’ve observed about people:
Winding down: Parents with high stress jobs need time to “spin down” from workweek operating speeds. On Monday, they’re usually still preoccupied with work. By Wednesday or Thursday, they’ve freed their brains up enough to appreciate the salt marsh. One Monday morning, two couples from Washington DC drove over from Kiawah for a Salt Marsh Adventure. All were lawyers. One couple had two kids; the other had one, all less than 4 years old. They brought with them two overstuffed beach bags. Minutes after coming aboard, beach toys, iPads and lots of other such stuff spilled from the bags all over the deck. On the deck it stayed. The Parents talked incessantly about work, all at the same time. The kids stared at me, then at them. Fifteen minutes away from the dock, the grown-ups finally noticed another world existed beyond them. Next time, plan on a Thursday outing.
Kids: Children of ages less than 12 are usually the most intuitive people onboard.
Teenagers: A teenager’s brain has been evacuated and replaced with an alien brain. The brain is returned around age 22, but sometimes as old as 30. This does not apply to all teenagers.
Helicopter Parents: Hovering, micromanaging parents often prevent a child from enjoying the trip. Helicopter parents tend to make all the observations for their kids. I’ve witnessed moms or dads sitting next to the kid, pointing out every potential stimulus and saying “Look! There’s a birdy! Look at the plant! Look at the shells, the crabs… !” I can imagine the kid thinking, “That’s an oystercatcher, not just a birdy. Please stop talking.” My personal favorite is when the parent puts words into my mouth: “if you do/don’t _____, the Captain will cut your head off and throw you to the sharks. Won’t you, Captain?” No, I won’t … please be quiet.
Parties and Special Occasions: When a 20-something approaches you to book a four-hour birthday party cruise, don’t do it. Two (or even three) hours is plenty. I have one standing rule onboard, usually told in a joking matter: no falling overboard. A four-hour drinking party makes this rule a necessity. Also, after four hours of drinking, some people feel inclined to expose body parts that no one else wants to see. Similar precautions applies to former sorority sisters on their “I’m 50” wild-woman beach getaway. For food and beverage industry parties, time doesn’t matter. It’s all about the volume of liquor drunk. Best practice for F & B is to find an isolated beach, away from all human contact, then drop them there. Upon return, discretely pour them back onto the dock and usher them away from the marina quickly.
Group Dynamics: This is my personal favorite. After a few (or several) days together, groups either grow closer together or farther apart. Factions sometimes form among the group. Monday groups reveal less about their dynamics than Friday groups. By Thursday, it’s one way or the other. “I love all of you” or “get out of my face!” I’ve observed knowing glances between husband and wife, revealing distain for a particular brother-in-law blabbering away on the foredeck. I once had a mother and son come join a full boat of strangers just to gain two hours of escape from their vacation home.
Chartering is a crazy, but rewarding, way to make a living. A sociologist could gain much from these trips. But in the end, people depart with a smile, plus they’ve learned something about the salt marsh and its stewardship. They’ve also taught me something… every one of them.
Anton owns and operates Tideline Tours located at 103 East Cooper on Folly Beach. Come by for a visit or sign up for a Tideline Adventure! Visit www.tidelinetours.com or email saltmarshadventure@gmail.com or call 843-813-5009
